Okay gang, we’re well into the month of May and you know what that means; We’re on the threshold of true summer. Time to plan on getting outta Dodge and carving out some rest and relaxation from that hard-charging career you’re pursuing.

And don’t just think about it or talk about it. Do it! Do what you need to in order to truly relax. It’s good for your health, your spouse, your special friend and your kids. It will be good for your coworkers when you get back to the grind, the sweatshop, the salt mine or whatever other charming term you might use for that wonderful reality we call making a living. But let’s not forget to make a life as well.

Now, for those of you who haven’t quite perfected this relaxation thing, it does take some time, experience and focused effort, but you can get there and you’ll love it! My only caveat is: Beware the weird wonderings of the relaxed mind. What follows will serve to illustrate what I’m referring to.

Using myself as an example, when I’m in that “relaxation zone” I sometimes end up with weird episodes of haunting questions that creep into my consciousness. They’re perplexing dilemmas for which I don’t necessarily have answers. It’s not often, mind you, but it seems like it became more prevalent as I mastered the art of just chillin’.

You know, you’re on a relaxing walk or listening to some beautiful music or taking a comforting shower and, Bam! The ole synapse starts firing for no apparent reason and the electrical impulses begin to dart around your frontal lobes like a horny frat boy in a two-for-one brothel. But for the state of comforting relaxation, they’re things you just wouldn’t normally think of. Here are some that have recently popped into the recesses of my cerebral cortex. Be forewarned my friends.

Why does a round pizza come in a square box? And what disease did cured ham actually have? As long as we’re on food, if corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Hmm...

The other day I was enjoying an idyllic bike ride and, all of a sudden I’m thinking: Why are you IN a movie but you’re ON tv? Why do you have to “put your two cents in”... but it’s only “a penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going? And how is it we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

For me, words and writing have been an important part of my life. The other day I’m chillin’ out big time, and then it happened. Which letter is silent in the word “Scent,” the S or the C? Why is the letter W in English called double U? Shouldn’t it be called double V? The word “swims” upside-down is still “swims.” And here’s one that crept in outta nowhere. If you replace “W” with “T” in “What, Where and When,” you get the answer to each of them.

A few days ago I’m enjoying a relaxing little respite in the sunroom with a nice glass of vino and suddenly I find myself thinking: Intentionally losing a game of rock, paper, scissors is just as hard as trying to win. Oh, and the professor on Gilligan’s Island. If he could make a radio out of a coconut, why couldn’t he fix the hole in the boat?

The most recent weird wondering of my relaxed mind came by way of Mother Nature’s apparent lack of quality control. As exhibit A I offer the human nose. I ended up pondering why would you take a runny, drippy thing like that and put it in the middle of your face upside down over your lips? What the...

There you have it. Beware the weird wonderings of the relaxed mind. But all things considered, it’s well worth the effort. A happy relaxing this summer to one and all. 

Ron Weber is a multi-award winning poet and writer who lives in Stevensville.