Wonder if Bernie could help Venezuela?


It is difficult being a Republican and President Trump supporter in southwestern Michigan. Between NBC, CNN and Fox, it is almost impossible to know what the truth is. The Donald is (a) responsible for a massacre in Christchurch and at the other end of the spectrum, (b) depriving a deserving young actor, Jussie Smollett, from receiving a living wage. If he had used any foresight at all, he would have grounded Boeing a long time ago and prevented two air crashes.

The Democratic genies (genie is the plural of genius) in Congress have assured us there is a plethora of evidence that the president is a traitor and colluded with the Russians. Where is that Mueller report with all its proof when you need it?

The fact that wages are up and unemployment is down is immaterial and beside the point.

So, how do we solve this dilemma? In medieval times you would strap someone to a pole and hold them under water for ten minutes or so. If they survived, they were obviously innocent; if they drowned, well ... that’s what you got if you were guilty.

The modern-day equivalent of this is to proceed as follows: Send the Marines to Venezuela to clean up the immediate mess. Then withdraw the Marines and send in a U.N. peace-keeping force to prove we have no evil intentions south of the border. Then we send Crazy Bernie in to run the country for four years and bring it back to its former glory. As a helper, we will include A-O-What’s-her-name as Commissar In Charge of Everything. They probably won’t even need four years to get the place back on its feet. I’m sure they can accomplish it in less than two years – just in time for the 2020 election. That will give us a clear-cut picture of what’s what and who’s who. Kind of like “the proof of the pudding.”

What could possibly go wrong?

John Burns